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15 SIGNS HE IS CHEATING ON YOU


You can't figure out why he's acting differently. Then, in the middle of the night, someone FaceTimes him, and he has no decent reason. 

You have every right to be concerned;

It may have been a pocket dial, but it's also one of the most telling signals he's lying. That isn't to say you should accuse him straight immediately; rather, you should pay attentive and keep an eye out for other signals and changes in his overall conduct. 

To begin, look for the early symptoms of cheating, such as him hiding his phone from you or spending more time at work or out with "the guys."

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You might sense something inside him that you can recognize, empathize with, and possibly even solve before anything happens. But only if you don't put him on the defensive can that happen. It's crucial to pay attention in this situation.

The first rule is to use "I" phrases instead of accusatory "you" statements.

Try something like, "I feel sort of shut out of your life when you're in this quiet mood so often lately. It's not what I'm used to from you, and I'm feeling lonely. I would love to know what's changed or what's going on so we can reconnect more."

Reaching out to a marriage and family therapist, counselor or trusted clergy member for counseling can really help you both figure out how to talk productively if you feel you need it.

How do you tell if your lover is being unfaithful to you? 

There are obvious symptoms he's cheating (see below), and most men don't conceal them well, so you won't be caught off guard. 

After interviewing some cheating guys and a number of their spouses (ex-wives inclusive), I discovered a few subtle indicators that many women are completely unaware of. 

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I'm posting some of the most prevalent signals that a guy is cheating, coupled with quotations from the cheaters themselves, based on their reactions. 

This list is based on direct interviews with the culprits, however if you suspect your partner is cheating, this list can help regardless of how they identify.

1. He's now in need of a lot of solitude: 

What he stated was this: "I was working from home and began to close the door more frequently, claiming that the kids were being noisy or that I simply needed to work quietly. I was conversing with my mistress via the internet."

It is natural to set aside time for oneself. However, if it deviates from the norm or gets more common, it could indicate that something else is going on. 

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Going to work early, departing late, abruptly hanging up the phone, and taking several private calls from a "relative" are all red signs.

2. He loses interest in you sexually: 

What he claimed was this: "I began my affair with the sole purpose of having sex with someone other than my wife. Our sex life was always quite active, so she sensed something was up." 

A sudden change in your regular or familiar bedroom routine, without any accompanying discussion of him wanting or needing something new, is a significant red flag that you're cheating.

3. He experiences mood swings that are unpredictable:

What he said was this: "I was always looking for excuses to get away, and it was difficult to come up with fresh ones all the time. As a result, I'd pick a quarrel with her." 

It's a red flag if you get irritated quickly - or if you're overly courteous. He needs to invent a reason to leave because there isn't one. New activities, such as his going out all the time but not revealing it till later, are an obvious example. 

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If he was going somewhere else and didn't have a motive to keep it a secret, he'd most likely tell you about it.

4. He's developed a new musical taste over night: 

What he said was this: "I've never been a big fan of jazz. But I started up a conversation with this woman, and we both had a good time. Just to think of her, I started listening to it all the time." 

It's never a bad idea to try new things. However, if he excludes you from the change out of the blue, it's one of the warning signals that something is wrong and he may be cheating on you.

5. He forgets specifics or recalls stuff you don't:

What he said was this: "I was discussing a movie with my wife and giggling at one of the moments. She wasn't giggling at all. 'What?' I inquired. 'Don't you recall?' She then informed me that neither of us had seen it together." 

As he spends more time with both you and his mistress, the memories of his time with her and his time with you will begin to blend together. Schedules will become jumbled, and he will lose track of where he was on any particular day. 

His time with another woman is completely unaccounted for – and frequently without explanation.

6. His desire has increased dramatically: 

What he stated was this: "I started sleeping with [my mistress] a lot more when I started with [my mistress]. She stated that I was really forceful in bed and that she had never seen me act like that before." 

All of the males I spoke with said they felt a surge of testosterone, which they described as a newfound confidence. They exuded strength, masculinity, and virileness, as if every woman desired them. Their egos swelled with each passing day.

7. He conceals his financial dealings from you:

What he claimed was this: "Almost every day, I met her for lunch. And we went to the hotel three or four times a week. It was quite difficult to cover that. I created a PayPal account, obtained a PayPal debit card, and linked my PayPal account to a personal bank account. She couldn't see any of my online transfers into PayPal since she couldn't see them." 

The majority of cheating males will require an untraceable method of payment for items such as presents, dinners, motels, and trips. 

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Large or frequent transactions can be hidden using reloadable credit cards, PayPal or Venmo accounts, and eBay purchases. Any huge, random transfers or cash withdrawals that he hasn't told you about should be looked into.

8. He has increased work duties and/or new "friends" at work:
What he claimed was this: "My employer let me to work from home if I so desired. But, because I'd begun a friendship with a new manager at work, I began to come in more frequently. I truly needed prolonged office lunches and late hours when I extended my business visits a day before or after." 

Office romances are fairly prevalent, especially given how much time we spend together at work. If you come into the office suddenly, he may mention his new "friend" to remove any doubts you may have, or he may even introduce you to his "coworker" to throw you off guard. Pay attentive and trust your instincts.

9. With his technology, he becomes clandestine: 

What he claimed was this: "iPhone iMessages are untraceable on cell phone bills. I would only text [my mistress] when it was safe to do so, and then I would erase the messages as soon as possible. My wife has no idea how I connected with [my mistress] to this day." 

What he claimed was this: "I didn't want to send emails that could be tracked. As a result, we created a second Gmail account and communicated via drafts, never transmitting anything." 

Technology has advanced, and business has become more sophisticated. New passwords on his phone or computer, password changes at your bank or phone provider, or phones "left in the car" were previously clear indicators of infidelity.

Although different email addresses, Gmail accounts, and Facebook profiles are effective ways to hide communications these days, he will still hide his computer and phone from you, which is a telltale indicator.

10. He deviates from his usual pattern of behavior:

What he stated was this: "My wife suspected I was cheating long before there was any proof. She claimed she should be able to tell." 

After spending months (or even years) with someone, you have a sense of their normal behavior. You know how they respond in certain situations, and you want an explanation – if not cheating, then something else solid and tangible.

In this respondent's situation, he would take his phone and go into the restroom for 20 to 30 minutes when he began his affair. 

His justification was that he was checking his email and reading the news. The only problem was that his phone bill revealed a completely different story: a slew of text messages sent with a different woman's number.

11. He installs new apps or begins to use particular social media accounts more frequently: 

"I downloaded Snapchat on my phone to interact with her," he stated. 

Cheaters typically slip under the radar by employing technology to do their communicative dirty job. Apps exist that allow text messages, online chat sessions, and photographs to last for a certain amount of time (and then disappear) (and then disappear). 

Keep an eye out for new apps on his phone that he hasn't told you about.

These days, a lot of people use Snapchat and WhatsApp, and they're definitely not all cheaters. However, if he normally includes you in his new app discoveries but excludes you from this one — despite the fact that he appears to use it frequently - that's a big red flag. 

Snaps, on the other hand, vanish rapidly and are generally untraceable. Many cheaters like WhatsApp because it is untraceable on your phone bill. 

Keep in mind that such apps are utilized for a variety of purposes. So, unless you're quite confident it's suspicious, don't go in with guns blazing.

12. He appears to be aloof:

He appears to be "dreamy" or otherwise unresponsive. 

Even if he isn't cheating, if he suddenly stops chatting as much as he used to, that's a red flag that something is wrong.

13. He seeks a stronger connection:

He wants to connect with you more romantically, sexually, or emotionally, and he's asking you for it either directly or indirectly. 

This is a good indicator because it implies he recognizes a problem, whether it's with your relationship or with temptation, and he wants to fix it before cheating or having an affair.

14. His weight or appearance has changed dramatically:

What he claimed was this: "I lost roughly 10 pounds in about a week after I started my affair. It was insane." 

Cheating males have bodily transformations. Their love handles vanish, their posture improves, and muscle tone and definition return. It's the body's fundamental method of courtship preparation - he's getting ready to attract a spouse. 

Furthermore, cheating guys begin to take better care of themselves and take great interest in their physical appearance. When he leaves the house without you, he suddenly starts pressing his clothing, coifing his hair, and shaving everyday, which he didn't do previously.

15. He has a mysterious demeanor:

As you approach, he places his phone on the table or turns it off. 

When he goes out, he refuses to offer you any details. He either avoids or never answers questions, or he responds with another question. 

If you bring up a topic that he doesn't want to discuss, he may shift the subject. 

However, he could be plotting a surprise, so use caution when reading this indication.

This is one among the first signals that your man is considering cheating or feels bad about having done so. 

While none of the actions outlined above are 100% proof of cheating, a combination of a couple of them is a sure clue that something is wrong. 

My suggestion is to be cautious about making claims that you can't back up. If you feel he's cheating, have a long, honest conversation with him about your worries. 

If that nagging feeling doesn't go away after your chat with him, you'll have to make some decisions — and perhaps start looking into it further.

Now that you've learned the telltale symptoms of cheating, you'll need to learn the fundamentals of how to determine if someone is lying. 

Keep in mind that just one or two of these signals does not mean your partner is lying to you. This is just a suggestion, but it's one based on research. These guidelines can also be used to detect lying in other persons and situations. 

There are a few physical indications of lying to look for, according to Certified Life and Relationship Coach Doren Weinstein. 

1. Begin the lookout for signs of stress: 

He may freeze up or rapidly "flee" the room, for example. Sweating can sometimes be an indication of anxiety.

2. Keep a close check on his pupils. 

Do his pupils appear to be dilated? Is it possible that he's making too much eye contact? He could be deceiving you. 

3. Listen to his voice and look at his mouth. 

Is his mouth suddenly really dry? Did he raise the pitch of his voice? These are all negative indicators for him. 

4. Keep an eye out for fidgeting. 

Fidgeting is a sign he's nervous, but there are four more gestures that can suggest he's lying. They are touching each other's hands, faces, crossing arms, and leaning away. 

Is he cheating on me, or am I just being paranoid? 

We've all heard stories about cheating guys who try to use your queries against you in their defense, accusing you of cheating or invading his privacy by looking at his phone, but they are just the telltale symptoms of a cheating man. 

When you confront him, he accuses you of cheating (without any basis, of course), which is an even worse sign a man is cheating. Don't allow him persuade you to feel guilty about something you're not doing. 

This strategy is not only a massive red signal regarding his loyalty, but it's also a warning that he'll manipulate and even gaslight you to obtain what he wants. In order to avoid having to be honest, he is willing to make you feel "crazy" or even guilty by turning the question back on you. 

However, if he hasn't provided you with any conclusive evidence that he's cheating and has been upfront and honest about his movements and behavior, you may want to consider that the problem isn't on his end. In this situation, consulting a professional, either together or separately, to get to the base of the problem in your relationship may be worthwhile.

Good luck, and keep in mind that open communication, compassion, and understanding are the keys to getting through any relationship difficulty.

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